January 2012
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“OMG HE WAS BLACK SEE I’M NOT RACIST HE REALLY WAS BLACK LOOK”
– mom
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mom: some guy tried to use a million dollar bill at walmart and they arrested him
me: omg did he really think that they would give out like 900k+ dollars in change omg hahahah
mom: i know and he insisted it was real. the largest bill we've ever had in circulation was $10,000 and they stopped in 1969.
me: hahahahahah
mom: ya.... i bet he was black.
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lol my mom went to ralphs to get asti spumante
and she can’t find any normal sized bottles but then looks down and sees 2 HUGE bottle on the ground
so she goes in the 15 items or less line bc she only has like 10 items
and the champagne won’t scan
they send someone to go find a price
they can’t find one
so they call the manager and he said it must be a shipping error
and...
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December 2011
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£110m trio Andy Carroll, Fernando Torres and Luiz...
mediocre clubs with shit history
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Watchwandamaximoff:
pipitas-culo:
fuckyeahalexisss:
Dramatic reading of alexis’ about me. okay.
lmao
i’m guessing she was blazed from one hit off a poorly rolled joint
has a touch of the downs
i’m gonna take a risk here and say 3 xanax pills
if she took a vicodin i’m gonna be pissed because that was my first thought but i decided to take the risk and say xanax
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